


It’s Okay

by Wxlves



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 01:40:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17194091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wxlves/pseuds/Wxlves
Summary: The development of Aedion’s relationship with the Bane commander, Kyllian[NO KOA SPOILERS]





	It’s Okay

**Author's Note:**

> This is like my 12th Aedion/Bane Commander (in this case he’s named Kyllian, after the Commander named in KOA) fic. I need help.
> 
> Wrote this kind of quickly, might not be my best writing. This was mostly an idea I had that I needed to get out.

The raucous sound of the men’s laughter was loud in Aedion’s  ears, Aedion joining in as Farrin chugged the last dregs of ale from the massive pitcher, having impressively polished off the entire thing in a matter of seconds. Every man there was entirely too drunk, and as was bound to happen, dares and pranks were being fired off left and right. 

The Bane had gathered in the center of camp, seated on rocks and logs placed around a smoldering fire pit. 

Esmonde Farrin, the same man who’d just emptied the ale pitcher, was now casting his gaze around the circle with a childish delight. His eyes landed on his own commander, Kyllian, who returned Farrin’s look with his own challenging stare. “Commander,” Farrin started, not daring dispense with titles no matter how many times Kyllian insisted he not bother. “Give us a dance.” 

Kyllian cocked an eyebrow. “A ballroom waltz, perhaps?” 

Farrin snorted. “You know perfectly well what kind of dance I meant. In fact, get up close and personal with someone. Your choice who.” Kyllian tipped his head back, roaring with laughter. Aedion laughed too, until Kyllian’s dark eyes settled on him. 

He held up his hands in surrender. “No thanks. In fact, fuck no.”

Kyllian shook his head, carefully skirting the fire pit as he came towards Aedion. “No backing out, Ashryver.” Aedion sighed, resigning himself to both the situation and the laughter aimed at his plight.

Kyllian placed a long leg on either side of the tree stump Aedion sat on, effectively straddling his lap. His hips rolled and Aedion could feel the movement, the scrape of fabric along his mid-thigh. Aedion laughed along with everyone else, lips curling upward at the good-natured grin on Kyllian’s face that didn’t match his sensual movements. 

After a moment though, his grin slipped, because the drag of hips so high had his body reacting in ways he hadn’t thought it would. Every muscle in his body locked.  _ As long as Kyllian doesn’t move up,  _ he thought,  _ he won’t notice a thing.  _ But then one of the men called out, “That’s hardly his lap, Kyllian. Go a little higher and we’ll call it done.”

Before Aedion could think to protest Kyllian slid so his hips ground directly down onto Aedion’s. Aedion knew the split second it registered with Kyllian, what he was feeling. His eyes locked on Aedion’s and he must have seen something in them because he paused, a slight frown on his face. 

Ignoring their audience, Kyllian leaned in so his mouth was next to Aedion’s ear, words quiet enough that the others couldn’t hear. “It’s okay, it’s just your body reacting without thought from your brain.” As if reading Aedion’s mind he added, “and even if it’s not, that’s okay too.”

He then pulled away and stood with a wink and a pat to Aedion’s cheek, acting as though he’d just whispered something jovial. Aedion willed the same grin he’d worn earlier to slip back onto his face and he leaned forward to brace his elbows on his knees, hiding the evidence of what Kyllian’s touch had done. 

-

Kyllian ducked his head under the General’s tent flap to find him lying on his back on a bedroll, one arm draped over his eyes. He must have heard the rustling because before he’d even begun to sit up he muttered, “who the fuck is it, do you know how late-” he stopped once he sat up enough to see who stood there. “Kyllian.”

“Technically,” Kyllian joked, trying to lighten the mood, “it’s after midnight, so it’s just early.” The joke fell flat in the thick silence. Kyllian took the lack of ‘piss off’ as an invitation to come into the tent. He sat down across from Aedion, who had pulled himself into a fully upright position, and heaved a sigh. “First, I want to apologize for earlier, I would never have made you uncomfortable on purpose. Second, I want to talk, if that’s okay with you.” 

Aedion shrugged his massive shoulders, those extraordinary eyes of his focused on his hands. “I didn’t even think that would-” The words seemed to get stuck in his throat as he paused. “What I mean is, you’re not at fault. Nobody is.” 

“Aedion.” Kyllian put enough command into his voice that Aedion looked up, never mind that, as General, he outranked Kyllian. “I meant what I said earlier. There’s people who will say that the gods never intended males to be attracted to males, or that it’s unnatural, that you’ll end up in hell for it. You know that’s wrong, right? It’s all complete bullshit. _I_ want to know that _you_ _know_ it’s okay.”

Aedion’s gaze held steady, even as his hands twisted the furs beneath him nearly to the point of ripping. “I do know it has no bearing on one’s character. As a general rule, I have no problem with those who are attracted to the same gender, like you, for instance; who you’re attracted to is of no matter to our friendship.” 

Kyllian tilted his head slightly, brow furrowed, and Aedion’s sharp eyes caught the look. “Do you not...I thought you were-” Kyllian shook his head. 

“I’m straight as an arrow, Ashryver.” Surprise and shame warred for the most expressive look on Aedion’s face. Kyllian could have sworn he saw disappointment flicker there too, but he blinked and it was gone. He managed to keep his emotions in check for only a moment more before dissolving into laughter. “I wanted to see the look on your face. It was priceless, Aedion. But you were right, I like cock.”

Aedion shot him a flat look but amusement curled the corners of his mouth slightly. They both sobered up again as Aedion resumed his point. “Like I had said, I don’t have a problem with males who like males (or females who like females) but it's just- it’s  _ different  _ when it’s myself.”

“It’s different knowing that it’s  _ you  _ who’s different from everybody else in a definable, unmistakable way,” Kyllian added for him, because Aedion seemed to be at a loss for words. He understood perfectly. 

At these words a flicker of fear passed through Aedion’s eyes, even as he nodded. Kyllian wished he could take that fear, an emotion which he so rarely saw in Aedion, and crush it into dust in his hands. He couldn’t, though, could only pull Aedion in for a hug, holding him tight and whispering into his ear, “it  _ will  _ be okay. It’ll all be okay.” Though Aedion’s shoulders didn’t shake, Kyllian could feel tears hitting his shoulder, dampening his shirt. It shook him to his core, seeing Aedion so vulnerable. He was shocked Aedion even let him see this side of himself. 

It was a long while before Aedion pulled away, once again avoiding Kyllian’s eyes. Kyllian reached out, gently grasping Aedion’s chin with his fingertips and pulling it up so he was forced to make eye contact. “If you ever need to talk about this, or anything, come to me.”

Aedion just gave him a small smile in response. 

-

Aedion was beginning to give himself whiplash as he turned his head frantically from left to right. 

There had been an ambush, and though the Bane had reacted quickly and with extraordinary skill, there was no doubt that injuries, and even fatalities, had occurred. 

“Kyllian!” Aedion hated how his voice broke as he called for his oldest friend.  _ Damn it all, where is he?  _ So busy searching the faces of the soldiers, Bane and enemy alike, Aedion nearly missed Kyllian’s. 

When he did see him, he sank to his knees in the icy mud. Kyllian’s face was bloodied, and bruising stood out even against his dark skin. With shaking hands Aedion felt for a pulse, his heart nearly stopping with relief when he felt it weakly fluttering against his fingers. 

He quickly glanced over the warrior’s body, checking for severe wounds. It wasn’t a difficult task, blood was soaking his side where a deep gash through his thick leather armor indicated a wound. Carefully peeling away the armor as best he could, Aedion examined the wound. It was a slash, not a puncture, and it wasn’t too deep. The wound itself wasn’t fatal, but blood loss and infection certainly would be. 

Sighing, Aedion gently worked his arms under the unconscious Kyllian. He stood, as carefully and quickly as possible, trying not to jostle Kyllian’s limp form. It was for nothing, the movement woke him to a half-unconscious state. In carrying him bridal style, with Aedion’s left arm supporting his shoulders and his right underneath Kyllian’s knees, the male’s torso was bent in a way that was likely causing him even more pain. Aedion, however, couldn’t think of a better way to carry him alone. 

Aedion had barely made it a hundred yards before Kyllian was clenching his teeth to keep quiet, a cold sweat covering his forehead. “I’m sorry Killian, I’m sorry. We’re getting there, just hold on.” 

Aedion kept up his whispered mantra of apologies and encouragement for the rest of the walk back. 

He headed straight for the impromptu infirmary tent they’d set up, laying Kyllian down on a cot while a healer rushed to get supplies. In the time since Aedion had roused him, Kyllian had once again fallen deeply unconscious. 

The healer set to work peeling and cutting away layers of armor and clothing. Once finished, he layered on a poultice to drive away infection and wrapped a bandage around the entire wound; all this done under Aedion’s watchful eye. 

“It’s a nasty little cut he’s got, but by all rights he should survive. I’m assuming you’re staying here with him?” At Aedion’s nod the healer continued. “If he doesn’t wake within a few hours, it’s more serious than I thought and you need to come get me.” With that, he bustled off to heal another wounded soldier. 

Once he was gone Aedion dropped to his knees next to the cot, settling back on his heels. As time ticked by and Aedion’s various small wounds healed themselves, his Fae healing at work, his eyelids drooped. 

When he awoke he was sitting slumped on the ground, head resting on the edge of Kyllian’s cot. A quick glance revealed he was still out and worry wriggled in Aedion’s gut. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep, should he call the healer or wait?

Heaving a sigh, Aedion once again rested his head on the edge of the cot. The possibility of death was always a step away in their life, but now it was a half-step and Aedion had suddenly realized he had no idea what he’d do without Kyllian. “Please survive this,” he whispered, more to himself than the unconscious male next to him. Then, in an even smaller, quieter, voice; “I love you.” 

“Asshole,” Kyllian rasped from his position laying down. Aedion shot to his feet and looked down at Kyllian, a mixture of relief and confusion on his face. “They had to almost kill me to make you say it.” 

Aedion could feel tears threatening to spill over, even as a grin split his face. “You’re okay.”

Kyllian just chuckled. “Yeah, I’m okay. And, Ashryver...” Aedion lifted one eyebrow in question.

“I love you too.”

Kyllian reached up to place one hand gently on Aedion’s cheek, the other went to the back of his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. Kyllian kissed with the same fire, the same passion and strength, with which he did everything else. It was intoxicating. 

Aedion, somehow, remembered both their audience (the infirmary tent contained several other cots with injured soldiers, along with some of the uninjured and healers) and Kyllian’s wounds. He pulled back, shaking his head as he did so. “You need rest, Kyllian. Later.” 

Kyllian grumbled something unintelligible but dropped back onto the cot. Despite his complaints, Aedion could see the exhaustion and pain in his eyes. “Get some sleep. You’ll be good to leave the infirmary soon as long as you don’t injure yourself again.” 

“Yes mother.” The mocking bite to Kyllian’s tone was softened by the slurring mumble it was delivered in, even as his eyes began drifting shut. 

Once Kyllian was fully asleep Aedion stood silently, making his exit. As he passed Erikson, in the midst of getting his arm stitched up, the man gave him a roguish wink that revealed exactly what he’d seen.

Aedion’s eyes rolled into the back of his head even as he sent a prayer to the gods, begging that they might spare him from the endless teasing. 

-

When Aedion awoke the first thing he noticed was how warm he was. Despite the Terrassen winter howling outside his tent, he was as warm as ever underneath the thick hide blankets. 

His second thought was of the unfamiliar weight on his torso. Upon turning, he found himself inches away from a sleeping Kyllian’s face, the severe planes of his features softened in sleep. The weight was Kyllian’s arm draped over Aedion, warmth radiating from the bare skin. 

He slowly came to realize the amount of bare skin between them, with Kyllian’s chest pressed against Aedion’s back and their long legs entangled. In fact, neither of them wore any clothes at all. Kyllian’s mouth was next to his neck and he could feel the faint brush of lips, the warm ghost of breath. 

Aedion lay still, not wanting to wake Kyllian, but just a few minutes after he’d awoken he felt the commander stir. The firm press of lips to the base of Aedion’s neck sent a chill down his spine, he could feel the smile that curled Kyllian’s mouth at the bumps that rose along his skin. 

Turning, Aedion reached out a hand to Kyllian’s torso where numerous white scars slashed across his dark skin. He gently traced each with his fingertips, following his touch with his lips. “You don’t think they’re ugly?” Kyllian questioned. 

Aedion let out a breathy laugh. “I have plenty of my own. Besides, I just see all that you’ve survived, every near miss that ended with you being right here in front of me.” 

Kyllian’s dark eyes dropped to meet Aedion’s. “Now where would you be without me?” 

Aedion shrugged, jokingly replying, “in someone else’s tent this morning.” He decided not to continue along that vein of teasing when he heard the slight jealousy in Kyllian’s sarcastic huff. He propped himself up onto one elbow, grinning down at Kyllian. “We still have time before we need to be up.” 

“Not very much, you’ll have to forgo the endless teasing.”

“Yeah, I’ll be quick about it the day you’re actually quiet.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> So I honestly don’t think panicking about liking guys is very in-character for Aedion (he seems like he’d be all “Yeah whatever, what’s it to you?” about it) but I wrote this as a kind of vent, because I wish I’d had a Kyllian to talk to/take advice from (and tbh the whole “it’s different when it’s yourself” was totally me, whoops)


End file.
